So tonight was our big Elf on the Shelf reveal. We arrived home from a week away in Arizona and I put the cute little
pain in the ass elf on the mantle when my daughter wasn’t looking.
I pulled out the Elf on the Shelf book for family story time and pointed out the elf on the mantle. Time came to name her. What does a child name an elf? My sweet little daughter usually names her dolls Ella or Violet. There is a Bella and a Sally. Without missing a beat she announces “Cockarhea.” Cockarhea. Like cock and diarrhea put together. I can’t make this stuff up. After stifled laughter and three “are you sure?” prompts from my husband and me I documented the name in the back of the official book. I’m not as good as I’d like to be about keeping baby books and sentimental objects for my kids. But this, I will keep for her. For sure.
Once the beautiful naming ceremony was out of the way the inquisition began. “Which one of you put her there?” “Was it you, Daddy? Mom?” My child will make a good interrigator one day. She locks in the eye-to-eye contact and doesn’t break it until she gets her answers. Does anyone else feel really bad about lying to your child’s face about this nonsense? What will make her future therapy bill higher, lying about Elf on the Shelf and Santa or telling her they aren’t real right off the bat?
I digress. Anyway, then came the fear portion of the evening. My daughter stared at Cockarhea for a few seconds and started running around yelling “she’s real, she’s real, AAAAGGGHHHH.” There really is nothing more terrifying than a doll who comes alive at night, is there? I’m sure you’re all familiar with a little doll named Chucky. Sweet dreams, little one. We let in a scary-ass elf who comes alive at night and watches your every move. Sleep tight.
We’re off to a great start.
How are your elves doing? If you liked this post please like the Happy Clarissa Facebook page for more Elf on the Shelf nonsense. Thanks for reading!